Snoggletog for one and all (HTTYD oneshot)
by vala411
Summary: It's Snoggletog for the Berkians but it might be Stoick and Hiccup's last. Oh dear, what happened now?


**AN: This is created for a oneshot challenge between FriendOfNoOne and I. Happy Holidays everyone!**

 **Prompt: "Honey, you better go easy with the Changewing acid"**

 **Rules: About 2000 words, Stoick is alive after the battle with Drago**

 **Snoggletog for one and all**

" _Come all ye Merry Vikings,  
And listen to this tale,  
Grab your tankards of mead,  
Fill your cups with ale,  
We are celebrating Snoggletog,  
For one and all today."_

"BAM!" Hiccup let out a yelp at the sudden loud sound and fell off his bed with his limbs still tangled in the sheets. "Toothless!" Hiccup shouted as he found the source of the sound. The Nightfury in question had kicked his door open and barged in. Now the black dragon sat in front of the bed with his tail wagging and a playful look in his green eyes. Toothless proceeded to use a front paw to bat at Hiccup who was trying to untangle himself.

"Wait….. Aaah!" Hiccup said as he squirmed. "Toothles-OOF" Hiccup was cut off when the Nightfury flopped his big head on Hiccup's abdomen.

"Toothless… you useless reptile…" Hiccup wheezed out as he tried to get free. Finally the Nightfury relented but not before getting dragon slobber all over Hiccup. "AAHH!" Hiccup shouted. "You know that that doesn't wash off bud!"

Toothless stood back up on all fours and let his tongue hang out to show Hiccup that he didn't care that it didn't wash out.

Hiccup rolled his eyes at his dragon's antics before saying "Happy Snoggletog to you as well bud." At this Toothless let out a yip. "Say, why don't you go wake Dad," Hiccup suggested with a smirk. He shouldn't be the only one subjected to Toothless' slobber.

Toothless gave one last yip before heading back out the door. Another crash soon followed and the very loud bellow of "TOOOOOOTHLESSSSSS!" by one Stoick 'the Vast' rang not only through the house but possibly through the snow-covered village as well.

When Hiccup had finally gotten all the slobber out and changed tunics he went downstairs to see his dad trimming his beard. He was so glad his father hadn't died from Drago's attack and instead was with them when they faced off at Berk. Hiccup looked around but he couldn't spot his mother in the house.

"Morning, Dad," Hiccup greeted as Toothless bounced up to him again looking for a scratch. "What are you doing?"

"Morning son!" Stoick said as he was a bit distracted with his beard.

"Dad what are you doing? And where did mom go?"

"She said she wanted to help with the Snoggletog preparations since this was her first year back." Stoick answered. "As for my beard…. Getting dragon slobber out of it." He shot a glare at Toothless who just wagged his tail.

"I'm going to go roast a fish. Do you want any, Dad?" Hiccup asked as his stomach growled. Breakfast seemed like a good idea right now.

"I already ate. Your Mum left some food out for you," Stoick said. "I told her "Honey, you better go easy with the Changewing acid," Stoick laughed at Hiccup's horrified look.

"WHO USES CHANGEWING ACID IN BREAKFAST?" Hiccup shouted as his eyes widened comically. Just as Stoick was about to answer the front door slammed open to reveal a heaving Fishlegs. "Chief! Hiccup! I think Astrid and Valka might be trying to kill each other!"

" _Come all ye Merry dragons,  
And gather round right here,  
_ _Grab your fish,  
_ _Cuddle a Viking,  
_ _We are celebrating Snoggletog,  
_ _For one and all this year."_

The dragons were very happy this time of year. It was mating season and during this time they also got extra treats from their Vikings. Stormfly was cuddling with her mate as they waited for their eggs to hatch. The little hatchlings had made it so that the stables didn't explode by adding hatching ponds. She rolled one of the wiggling eggs in the water and watched the small burst of bubbles before a little Nadder came to the surface. She nuzzled her baby and looked over at Meatlug who sat in the stable across from them with her own kids. With a squawk to her mate she indicated that she wanted her babies to go play with the Gronkle hatchlings.

Everything was quite nice this time of year Stormfly thought as she started preening. But a shrill voice from Sven in the stables got her attention. "Astrid and Valka are going to kill each other!"

The Nadder's eyes widened upon hearing her human's name and she stood up before quickly running outside. The one called Cloudjumper doing the same when the Viking shouted. "No one touched her human!"

When Stormfly and Cloudjumper spotted their respective humans they were surrounded by a ring of Vikings in the snow. Staff and axe clashed and Stormfly rushed to her human's aid just as Cloudjumper did. Both dragons wound themselves around their riders and hissed at each other. The crowd took a collective step back. If dragon fire was going to be involved then they didn't want to get singed.

Stormfly roared as she readied her tail while Cloudjumper bristled in a threatening manner. But before anyone could do anything a plasma blast hit the middle of the circle the two women were facing off in and Stormfly saw the big human and his hatchling, her human's mate approaching.

"Alright! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!" Stoick shouted as he pushed Vikings out of his way. He didn't really need to as Toothless' plasma blast had them all opening a path. An irate Night fury was bad. An irate Nightfury, a mad Chief and a perplexed future Chief was worse.

"SHE STARTED IT!" Both women said at once while pointing to the other.

" _Come all ye merry Vikings,  
_ _And witness in dismay,  
_ _Two women fighting over food,  
_ _On this cold yet sunny day."_

Stoick and Hiccup stared at the two women who were pointing accusing fingers at each other at the same time.

"DID NOT!" Both women shouted in unison again.

"Mom? Astrid? What is going on here?" Hiccup asked as his father was still fuming. "You two got along so well."

"We're both scheduled to make the Snoggletog feast." Astrid grumbled.

"But we just can't agree on what to serve." Valka finished for her.

"That's all?!" Hiccup asked shocked. "You drew weapons for that?"

"She wants to serve her Yaknog!" Valka grimaced. "My Fire Ale is much better."

Astrid huffed and then said "You wish! She wants to serve her fish on a stick but my lamb ball stew is better!"

The surrounding Vikings shuddered as the two women glared at each other. No one wanted to say that the recipes were all so bad lest they get a staff or axe in the face.

"Why are you two even on kitchen duty?" Stoick asked. "I thought I gave that to Snotlout and Ruffnut." And for good reason he did. He might love his wife but his stomach was lined with enough iron for day to day foods she made. It wouldn't withstand the force Valka would unleash if she went all out on Snoggletog.

"We traded jobs." Both women answered.

"Well can't you two just work together?" Hiccup suggested and the village held a collective breath. That might have not been such a wise suggestion.

Both women were silent for a moment, each contemplating Hiccup's words. "Well this is the season of sharing," Valka mumbled.

"And we should also be caring," Astrid said as both women dropped their weapons.

"Why don't we…." Valka began.

"Combine our recipes?" Astrid finished as she also began to smile.

"I think you might be onto something Astrid," Valka chuckled as both women smirked. The smirks were enough to send half the village scuttling away for safety. "You know I have something that would really put that kick in that yaknog of yours."

"Oh, I have some spices for your fish recipes!" Astrid's eyes lit up as the women started plotting. This was the moment the other half of the village made themselves scarce.

Hiccup, Stoick and Toothless were the only ones left in the square by the time Astrid and Valka strolled towards the kitchen of the Great Hall.

"Son what have you done?" Stoick muttered as his bushy eyebrows shot up.

"What dad? It seemed like a fine conclusion." Hiccup raised a brow. "They are working together now."

"Yes, and who will be the first ones to taste their NEW creations?" Stoick remarked as the situation finally clicked for Hiccup.

Hiccup gulped before saying "You know dad…. Toothless and I haven't been flying yet today… I think he needs to stretch his wings."

"Oh no you don't son!" Stoick said as he grabbed Hiccup by the shoulder and dragged him back. Toothless, that traitor, had seen it fit to vanish in the snow and let Hiccup and Stoick deal with any new…. Concoctions.

"Daaaaad!" Hiccup nearly whined.

"Son, if I have to get my tongue burned off then so do you!" Stoick insisted as he dragged Hiccup towards the Great Hall where the Snoggletog celebrations would be. Toothless' head meanwhile popped back out of the snowbank he had hidden in and waved Hiccup off with a paw.

" _Come all ye Merry Vikings,  
_ _And dragons we hold dear,  
_ _Come listen to this tale,  
_ _Of how Valka and Astrid,  
_ _Paralyzed Stoick and Hiccup,"  
_ _With fear._

The Chief and his son glanced down at the plates that were put before them. Both Valka and Astrid seemed eager to show off their creations.

Hiccup gulped as he looked at his plate. He could recognize a fish head and that was about it. The rest was… to put it frankly….. Oozing. His father wasn't faring any better and poked the plate he had in front of him. Hiccup would swear to Odin that he saw something move.

"Well now don't be shy." Valka said with a smile. "Astrid and I worked hard on these and we wanted our men to be the first to taste it."

"Right," Stoick muttered as he cooped up some with a spoon. Outside of the Great Hall the village had gathered. None dared to go in yet. They did silently applaud the Chief and Hiccup for their nerves of steel. Many of the Vikings would rather face an enemy raid right now than sample that food.

"My the Gods be with them," Gobber could have been heard muttering.

Hiccup gulped as he looked into Astrid's sweet and expectant eyes. He too took a spoon and scooped up some of the food. Without taking a breath he and his father took a bite. Nothing happened at first….. Which could be taken as a good sign…. Or not. After a minute Stoick started turning slightly green while Hiccup clutched his throat. Both men quickly grabbed the mugs that were added to the meal and drowned them in one go, completely forgetting that it was Astrid's new and improved Yaknog.

"AAAAHH! HONEY!" Valka shouted which caused Gobber to peek into the Hall to see if it was safe. His bushy brows shot up as he saw both Stoick and Hiccup passed out on the floor with Valka and Astrid hovering worriedly above him.

"We have a code green everyone! CODE GREEN!" Gobber shouted. "THIS IS NOT A DRILL! SOMEONE GET GOTHI!" Suddenly all the anxious Vikings sprung into action. Gobber muttered something about this probably now being a regular Snoggletog occurrence.

" _Come all ye Merry Vikings,  
_ _And dragons clustered near,  
_ _Come see th-SNOTLOUT!"_

Snotlout whipped his head around at being interrupted to see Gobber shouting at him. "Less rhyming more helping!" The man said as he tried to revive Stoick and Hiccup.

"I'm coming!" Snotlout said as he abandoned his instrument. He would make a new rhyme later.

 **THE END**


End file.
